Lets never come back here again...becuase nothing will be the same when we do!!
My mind is emotionally spent!

We take one step forward and i take five steps back...It's surprising becuase it's nicer here...Even though you are not here with your glory and your insecurities and your reasoning...It's surprisng becuase its nicer here...It's lonely and quiet but it's true and honest, it's real...It's surprising becuase its nicer here...Even though you are not here.

Again we take one step forward and i take five steps back...You don't even turn around, only occasionally do you look, only when it affects you...You don't constantly care...You draw pictures in the sand and make me believe you care...The water washes it away, i notice when i take 5 steps back...But you don't even turn around...It's surprising becuase its nicer here

You write about writing, You sing about singing, You paint about painting...But, do you ever think of me...Do you ever turn around...It's hard to hold on to the wet sand in the water...It's taking me away while THEY take you away...those who you think are important...

All i ask is for you to turn around...write about me one day...of not me...but of me who new you...who looked for you...who looked ahead to you...you will be surpised that you have no words...You never did turn around...They took you away with thier fancy words and their fancy shows and their fancy desserts...

Again we take one step forward and i take five steps back...in the water now i have no breathe, no words that you will hear...You never did turn around...It's surprising becuase its still nicer here...Even though you are not here!

I leave for the wknd...and it all falls down!

You are the pus that belongs to the fungus which feeds on pucscunk...
Thank you for loving me so much.

This is the watch tower at Point Reyes.

So we drove down the curvy roads to Point Reyes today.  Talk about California dreamin...it was beautiful...the coast, the trees, the water, the dew, the rainfall, the fences, the cows...and it was so quiet.  While we were driving every other mile we would see a random house or ranch in the middle of all the quiteness and i would always think...who would want to live down here, away from all the civilization, just to be contempt with what you see...the beauty of the creation and a thought about the creator. 

It's nice to be away from all the fluff that WE call life and get down to the basics--to the scent to the fresh--becuase to keep everyone else around you grounded takes much effort and it was nice to refuel...my house is another place which helps me do that and today i discoved the water to be another source to the freshness...

Wouldn't it be nice if everyone really did understand what was real and what is just irrelevant to that reality...

Sitting...I turn, their is no one their--but their is a sound, but how can loneliness have a sound.  Or is the quiet that is a sound.  It is beautiful yet so wronged...come out, make noise, is it that-is it not....shhh...let me hear the quiet!  Detachment, is that not the key...at the end of the day whom do you really have when you seek the quiet, or is it whom do you really seek.  When I look again, I see the source of the sound-we watch a movie together/we talk and play...its still quiet...which is beautiful yet so wronged.

Actively seeking...the source my sound!

Taruna's Death Forecast:

It is estimated that you will die at the age of 79 Years Old.

If you want to link to your Death Forecast from your blog, profile, or website, use this URL:
http://bored.com/deathforecast/result.php?record=863600.


Note: This is an estimate using scientific data obtained from dozens of health studies. But, keep in mind it is based on averages, and you may live many years longer than what is predicted or you may get hit by a bus and die tomorrow. Also, at some point in the future you might change your lifestyle to be more or less healthy, which would make a big difference in your estimated lifespan.

As I sit by myself in the room, reminiscing, I don't feel lonely even though I am alone. Pictures of memories, noises of laughter, stains of parties, songs of the music already sung playing in my head, its beautiful really. I remember this feeling but then I was scared becuase all the ones who had come close had left me by that time and I truly was alone that night. But tonight I'm not lonely. You haven't left me...I realize that when they left me they broke something and now when you put the pieces together it scares me that you have that much power to hold me together and therefore to take me apart...every action in fact has an opposite and equal reaction. We have become dependable all the while trying not to and its scary to think that the road is going to take another turn...Left or Right?

But I will never remember you becuase to remember you must forget first.

Well That Was Random!

Suddenly I see why the hell you meant so much too me...
But, I quit you today - like a sweet addiction
Beautifull/Sweet/Delicious.
I look up at you..at the sky...to the beyond
The smile on my face...I no longer look at myself through you.
I turn the corner, ready for a whole new world to appear.
Anticipating my arrival.

I don't write anymore...everything in my life seems trivial compared to everything outside of me. Think about that.